I had started a post the day before John died, reading all the words it just seemed like a load of fluff.

Wednesday John deteriorated quite significantly. I had to call the ambulance in the middle of the night and they managed to get his breathing under control so he could sleep. They said I may need to call them again when the medication ran out (in an hour). I stayed awake until 430 and he seemed to be sleeping peacefully. I nodded off and woke up at 6 to find John had died in his sleep. He got his wish to die at home. Rest in peace John and fuck you cancer.

On another note looking through the photos and videos of John when he was healthy has been lovely to see the person I married.